Things that happen when I'm in charge of the wire (Mostly Alligator edition)
- Manatee After-School Special: A girl manatee tries to run away from a bunch of cootie-riddled boy manatees, and they all get stuck in a dead-end canal near the Miami airport. Grown-ups are called, lessons are learned.
- Don’t Pet Service Dogs: Because they might be pit bulls.
- Chicks: Baby pelicans find oil in Louisiana, rehab in Florida.
- Sad: Bomb-sniffing K-9 dog dies while training at University of Florida stadium.
- MEAN: Turtles found decapitated on the beach. Really, people?
- Real Estate: Thousands of bats living under a SW Florida bridge scheduled for demolition won’t go up in smoke. They’re getting two bat high-rises. Sweet.
- Don’t Try This At Home: Man encounters 4-foot alligator under mobile home and thinks he can take it. Alligator’s sharp teeth sinking into his hand prove him wrong. Professionals are called, reptile is removed.
- Is Someone Humming the “Jaws” theme?: It’s a fun nighttime swim in a Naples-area canal, until a 10-foot alligator decides you look delicious and bites off your left hand.
- It’s Really Not the Other White Meat: Florida man allegedly beats alligator to death in front of neighbors. Police find gator meat in his fridge and ON A PLATE.
- The Need For Speed: Two racing greyhounds test positive for cocaine at a north Florida track.
- Sad, Part 2: K-9 dog in north Florida dies after distracted handler leaves him in hot patrol car.
- Finally, Some Good News: Kemp’s ridley turtle hatchlings, fresh from eggs rescued from the Gulf Coast, are released into the Atlantic off Cape Canaveral. Swim, little buddies, swim!